Thursday, November 30, 2006
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Thursday, November 30, 2006
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Have you ever thought that the world revolves just around you? Because I have really thought of that.
I used to think that I was the only creature in the world who had free will, and that everybody else around me was just like some pawns created by God for me. I was sometimes under the impression that people were just like “robots” placed in the world for a lifetime to play their roles in a script solely written for me . Seriously, I thought that whatever things happened in this world happened because of ME. Yes, me and me and me. If that was a form of autism or a distorted idea of megalomania, I have no idea. Maybe when I was in my adolescence---when I really seriously entertained this idea---I had a negligible, weak form of autism. Every time I saw some doing stuff or thinking about things, a part of me popped up suggesting that people do not ‘really’ do things on their own volition; rather, they do things because God makes them do so for me. Sounds like Stalin, doesn't it?
But after a series of reflections and meditations, and occasional watching of films The Matrix, I now feel like I am just one of those “pawns” created by God for some special people who ain’t have slightest idea that we men were created equal. Or maybe I am just clouded by harsh realities of life.
I used to think that I was the only creature in the world who had free will, and that everybody else around me was just like some pawns created by God for me. I was sometimes under the impression that people were just like “robots” placed in the world for a lifetime to play their roles in a script solely written for me . Seriously, I thought that whatever things happened in this world happened because of ME. Yes, me and me and me. If that was a form of autism or a distorted idea of megalomania, I have no idea. Maybe when I was in my adolescence---when I really seriously entertained this idea---I had a negligible, weak form of autism. Every time I saw some doing stuff or thinking about things, a part of me popped up suggesting that people do not ‘really’ do things on their own volition; rather, they do things because God makes them do so for me. Sounds like Stalin, doesn't it?
But after a series of reflections and meditations, and occasional watching of films The Matrix, I now feel like I am just one of those “pawns” created by God for some special people who ain’t have slightest idea that we men were created equal. Or maybe I am just clouded by harsh realities of life.
Posted by
Nutty Boy
Labels:
autism
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